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01 August 2008 @ 03:02 am
things that need to be said.  
You know how it is when you're just completely overwhelmed with head over heels love for someone? It's funny how the simplest thoughts can bring about that feeling. Just sitting on the john, taking a leak, and suddenly you remember how he surprised you one morning with your very first tripod. Which makes you remember how he bought you your first real camera and how he got you the camera you'd been craving for the longest time. And then you realize it isn't just about him buying you things; it's that he's helped you delve even deeper into something you've always been curious about.

And it always figures that your skin and your hair behave perfectly once you get home, something they'd never do when you need them to. Or maybe it's just that the lighting's different in your bathroom than it is in the hotel's. Or maybe it's just that you're used to your lighting, so you're used to how you look in the mirror at home and that the hotel's lighting shows how you actually are. I always wonder how I really look to other people.

Sometimes I imagine myself from outside my body, to try to see how I look to other people, to see how I move. I always wonder how people perceive me, like how you sometimes judge people on their looks. "She's a bitch, he's a frat-boy, she's slutty, he's a perv." What do people label me as? How do I come off? Do you ever wonder if you're the exact person you always bitch about, but have no idea? I always get irked at those stuck-up girls who boss everyone around and just seem overall unpleasant to be around. But am I that girl?

It's these trips that take me away from the norm that always bring about thoughts that seem to have always been lingering about my brain, I just didn't take the time to think about them. Reading does the same thing. I should do both more often.
Current Mood: happily overwhelmed.
(like) kraft dinner: gg. amy687 on August 2nd, 2008 04:28 pm (UTC)
I wonder about that too. How I'm perceived by others. Especially when I'm on dates. Do I come off as confident and like I know what I'm talking about? Cause I really don't. I went out with a guy who was a wreck about himself the other day. No confidence. And I wondered if that's how I came off to people sometimes, despite the facade. Anyway, I'm rambling.